Mou:  Fantastic, phenomenal, almost as good as me!  Fernando Alonso, what a surprise!  I read an interview that said that your father never hugged you.  And now you came for a hug, correct?

Fernando Alonso:  Yes.

Mou:  But today is Saturday, and you’re not going to win until tomorrow in Korea.  Get out of here!  Let your father give you a hug!  Out!

Cristiano: Well well well…  I want four hugs, one for each wonderful goal that I scored.  Come on.  One, two, careful with the eyebrows, three, four.  Happy with the 4-1 result, míster?

Mou: What do you mean, 4-1?  It’s 6-1.

Cristiano: What are you talking about, 6-1?  Who scored the other two goals?  Why didn’t you all pass to me?  Egoists!  Useless people!

Sergio: What’s up?  I had a great time in the palco.

Cristiano: Watching me score four great goals, of course.

Sergio: Whatever, I was watching a movie on my phone, one that Guti recommended: Dumb and Dumber.  Have you all seen it?

Mou:  I’m watching it right now.

Sergio: Ahhhh, I know where you’re going with that.  It’s just that my profile looks a bit like [something].

Cristiano: Ehh, ehh, I’m here.  Has anyone else ever scored four goals in one game?  No.  So let’s talk about me.

Sergio: Well, the Internet says that Messi scored four against Arsenal in the quarterfinals of the Champions League.

Mou:  You deserve that, for being egocentric.  What does your little machine say about the crack who coaches the highest scoring team in the championship in the last few years?

Sergio: Let’s see… Guardiola.  We have 22 goals in eight games, and Barcelona had 23 at this point last year.

Mou:  What?  Well yes, we’re the only ones who have scored four goals.

Sergio: The same as Barça, take a look.

Cristiano: And who has taken more corners? 

Sergio: Madrid 34, Barça 38.

Mou:  And who has hit the post more?

Sergio: Madrid 6, Villa 215 [jajajaja!!!]

Cristiano: And who has the best looking players in the world?

Sergio: Barcelona without Ronaldinho, and us with Özil… so Barça as well.

Mou:  And who has the bigger field?

Sergio: Barça.

Mou:  And who…

Sergio: Barça.

(repeats several times)

Sergio: It still says Barça!

Cristiano: Does it say anything about me?

Mou also appears with Cruyff here and Guti appears here.