Look at the expressions on their faces!  Look at how Cris’ doesn’t change!  And how Iker looks resigned in one of them, as if he knows how cheesy these are, while Karim attempts an “I’m a real badass” look and Sergio puts his best “it’s a serious message, people, so listen up” face on (the video is even funnier, especially in the parts where they’re pointing and looking off into the distance).

Anyway, these pictures are just three in a long line of (unintentionally) hilarious and most of the time cheesy photos published by Madrid’s web site, and I thought it would be fun to take a look back at all the victims fun they’ve brought us this season.  You could also see it as a list of sins committed by the team’s photographers.

ONE. The obsession with the thumbs-up pose!  Why is everyone forced to do this pose?  They have to do it during the bwin interviews…

… during their medical check-up (which ruin the otherwise perfectly great shirtless photos)… [P.S. if it were up to me, I’d just have them pose shirtless every time.]

… as well as at the entrance to the hospital before the check-up!  We get it, they’re happy to be there.

For the photographers, it’s applicable for any situation, whether it’s an interview or the official presentation…

… and the worst thing is, they have the next generations doing it already, starting with Castilla and RMC!  Noooo!

All the pictures above are just a very, very, very tiny sampling of pictures featuring players doing the thumbs-up.

TWO. If you thought the thumbs-up pose was the worst imaginable, then meet the “double thumbs-up.”  It’s exactly as the name describes it, and it’s a double dose of visual pain.  Gonzalo Higuaín is the most frequent victim.

THREE. The favorite prop as of late is the video camera.  I have no idea why, but the boys look very strange when they try and pretend to be operating it.  I like how MFC is so multi-talented he can multi-task and handle a ball with one hand and the camera with the other.

FOUR. Meanwhile, the latest obsession is – and who can guess what’s going on in the photographers’ minds – taking a picture of the player posing in front of the make-up mirror.  I don’t get it.

FIVE. Timing is crucial when it comes to taking photos, and perhaps that’s something these photographers need to work on?  After all, these photos should be flattering, no?  One more exhibit here.

SIX. They’re also fond of shooting from strange angles.  Look, if you really want to shoot Raúl Albiol from the ground up, the least you can do if shoot up his shorts leg so we can confirm if the El Chori nickname fits or not.

SEVEN. Other shots with strange backgrounds/props.  Why did they decide the side of the building, in the midst of what appears to be a flower bed, was the best place to shoot Juanan (and at an angle too, I might add)?  And the chalk? dust? talcum powder? that Mesut is blowing means what exactly?  I wonder if he sneezed right after that photo was taken?

EIGHT. When I first saw this photo of Tomy Mejías at the old Ciudad Deportiva, now the home of four skyscrapers, I thought, that’s a nice photo, having him pose with the Torre de Cristal as the backdrop.  Yesterday, this photo of Madrid basketball player Ante Tomic appeared (he was also subjected to a weird angle photo – see point six – as well).  Once again, the photographers show their lack of originality.  Come on, you have the whole city – and the comunidad too if you want – at your disposal!

NINE. Now these pictures are not strictly the fault of the photographer, but they just go to show that maybe a stylist needs to be hired to make sure that the end products don’t hurt anyone’s eyes, whether it’s the clothing, the choice of accessories or the hair styling.

TEN. No explanation needed, right?

If only I had these boys as my models, to do as I please with them!