As I had free entry to the Clubs as a top dancer, up to four nights in a week,  I was on the floor.

Such as a Club called  Enigma  ( formerly  Manhattan Light ) in  Muswell Hill, London  was where

I spent four nights every week,  nearly three years,  as I was living in the aria.

( After this, I was in the  Fridge Club,  Brixton , every weekend,  nearly six years  with my flushing LED

dancing pants or sound reactive flushing pendant which I designed myself.)

———- But there was funny rules, ” Never mix with clouds ”  I was there only for my dancing not

socializing with people. Exception was a Manager,  Staffs and  DJs /  And the person introduced himself

in proper manner. ( So that, two guys among the cloud became good friends )

By watching the interaction between  young man and  girl, their body language  and  who chose who

and changed to who and so on,  I recorded those observation in my log-book in their nick names.

————- Even funnier story was, despite always there,  never speak to the cloud but to the Staffs

and never drink  alcohol,  many people mistook me such as the Real Owner of the Club or  Under-cover

Detective,  Special Security Person (since, my dance movement looks like Martial Art)

(Those were what the staffs told me, as the people asking them ” Who’s that guy ?  Isn’t he —- ? ” )   😀

———————-

The reason why I chose this topic was,  as  I thought the  Unconscious,  Subconsciousness (in another

word Instinct ) may hold the key to decipher the foundation of the SELF. ——– Sexual Instinct is

the easiest one to start and observe. ( In deed you can watch  lords of lords of activities there )

And, how my observation has reflected and resulted  was, what you are reading in this Blog.

———— In addition, I came to the conclusion

” The mankind is the only animal born without the complete program of the Sexual Instinct “

( I know, at first you wouldn’t agree with this  though,  think deep,  remember when you were small,

when you were first ever encounter the sexual knowledge such as where the baby come from

( did you believe,  a stork brought them  ? ) you must be shocked.    And the first time you try to do it,

how awkward you were  ——- (Obviously, only the Instinct, the mankind got is a vague urge  to release the

physiological pressure / tension —– by any means —– hence, there such wide variety of means and fashions )

In comparison,  other animals having amazingly complexed yet perfected instinctive behavioral pattern,

not only the elaborated courtship rituals but associated breeding activities which works only to own species.

We mankind knows virtually nothing of what and how to do and everything has to be learned.

Because of this inadequacy of the instinctive (ie; IMPERATIVE ) program, human sexual activities having

so much wide variation,  dependent to the culture and early orientation ——- once a person caught up to

certain direction, its tendency getting heavier and heavier.  Though, this is not Instinct but the Obsession.

Because of this phenomena,  early orientation or occurence affect the person’s behavior in unconscious,

subconscious level ——- by which, such as so-called  Psycho-analysis  works.

You must be amazed to hear,  even the most basic part of the sexual reaction,  the timing of  ejaculation

is in fact Cultural.   ( M m m m  ? ? ? )

In the west,  a man ejaculate when the insertion was completed with imprinted stereotypical psyche

” I conquered “.   —— But in the east,  a man has a duty to make a woman to come,  so that he ejaculate

when he felt the contraction,  since he grown up hearing, reading   ” Otherwise you are not  The Man ” and

this subconsciously imprinted obsession controls the timing. ( You can ask around the people, if you dear.

—– so, you do your research ) —– So-called  Tantra-Sex and its naming originated from here. ( Though,

it seems, it was utterly mis represented by the so-called guru  who couldn’t even control  himself )

——————————–

This observation gave me the insight, even such basic, ( looks like ) instinctive reaction is

cultural / programable,  so-called instinct or unconscious behavior is in deed Re-programable.

——— isn’t this, the very function behind the  ZEN ?     Yes, it is.